Remember about a month ago I said I’d talk about what happened with my *Ex-bestfriend Christina?!?
Well today I am here to finally talk about it. I want to get this off my chest & hope that ya’ll will read this LONG post & give me some good advise. (even though I’m over this all I still wanted to write about it so someone can see my point of view)
I’m not writing this post to really explain in detail what happened but lets just say that she lost a VERY good friend who really truly loved her & cared deeply about.
It’s been a little over a month since we’ve spoken to one another. I have to say it was very difficult to get over at first but as I continued my days praising God & listening to my heart It got better.
The details: Ever since back in November when Christina called me from the Army saying she was pregnant & I was the first to ever find out, I was overwhelmed with excitement! From that moment on I thought she was back in my life to be a good friend & we could talk about all baby stuff etc…
A few months went by and during those months we were talking more than we had before she got pregnant, because lets face it, I had already been in her shoes & I wanted to here all about it. Who doesn’t want to help a friend out that is pregnant for the 1st time, ya know.
She came home from the army In February. We hung out a few times , & talked almost every other day (just like old times). She talked about how she was over immature people & she was so ready to start a new beginning etc.
Well that was a lie. I thought she had changed from her old ways & thought the Army made her a better person, NOT!
Being the good friend that I am, I volunteered to host her baby shower for her in June & I couldn’t wait to get started. Over the past two months before her shower she really kind of lost contact with me. I thought maybe it was due to her being all hormonal and such, but that sure wasn’t the case. She stopped talking to me, she wouldn’t text me when I text her & if she did, it was really short & to the point. I made so many comments on FB to her about how excited I was for Mason (her baby) to get here, made tones of sweet comments to her but I noticed she never responded back to any of my comments, but would do so for other people. I thought that was Strange.
When I needed advice for her baby shower, she would say talk to her Sis-n-law.
I finally got the hint before her Baby shower that she had nothing to really do with me & my life anymore & that she had been talking trash about me this whole entire time on FB & being the dumb person I am thought she was talking about someone else. :(
Let’s face it, me & her have two different life styles; mine’s more “perfect as she said it” family oriented, I have a husband & son & I’m a Christian & really don’t have a lot in common with my once bestfriend.
She married a guy right before going into the army, then decided she wanted a divorce, so she’s “single” (going through a divorce), doesn’t know whether the father believes that’s his baby & doesn’t have any concern with her, has no home but her mom & dad’s to go home to, and says & does what she pleases & can’t know body stop her.
Yes I have completely changed from the person I once was & I’m so so thankful for that!!! She doesn’t want to change. Being said that, we’re two completly opposite people from the friends we once were.
I was wrote this about our friendship:
But I still can’t understand why she felt the need to have talked about me this whole entire time while planning out her baby shower. My opinion is she was all alone, & felt like because my life was going great she is jealous but DOES NOT & WILL NOT ever admit to it.
I never once talked about her, or said anything out of the way. All I’ve ever wanted is for her to see that I am a true real friend to her & truly care & love her so much.
It’s obvious she took my friendship for granted & has used me as a side kick over the past 12 years & now I FINALLY see that out of all these years. My husband had to point out to me that she was no good for me & she was a bad example to follow & that’s all I’ve ever done is followed what Christina did!
I’m the type of person who will agree or do what others think, the “follower”. I’m the type of person who loves & cares so much about certain people. I’m the type of person who can’t get over something that has gone horribly wrong between me & someone else. I’m the type of person who wont let anything go until my heart is filled with a smile. I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to cause drama or make anyone hate or talk about me. I’m the type of person who will give up everything & anything to make things better. I’m the type of person who will get along with just about everyone.
I’m the person ~girl~ friend that everyone should have and hold onto. ♥
I ended up going to her baby shower (even though I had 2nd doubts about going) along with my wonderful Mother-n-law who helped me out so much. When we arrived I felt a awkwardness coming from Christina but didn’t let it get to me. I talked to everyone & did my part at the shower. And said my goodbyes. Oh and did I mention I didn’t get a Thank you from her or really a hug! Ah what good friends get for hosting your besties baby shower. Ugh.
Okay I am going to go into detail. Lol
I stuck a sweet 4 sentence letter into her card that I got her for her baby shower gift stating something like this:
Dear Christina,
I am so happy for you and what God has blessed you with. I pray that everything will work out for you & Mason & wish you the best through out life. I don’t understand why you can’t except the changes I’ve made in my life & hope you realize that I’ve been here all along as a true friend. I love you & will be praying for you .
Love, Kim
I maybe should have stuck that note & wrote it into her card instead of a side note because she wasn’t to pleased at what I wrote. She really took it as in insult. Maybe I should have just talked to her in person about this face to face but I didn’t and wonder if it really would have made any difference.
I received three emails on Facebook from her while me & my husband was at a concert that night after her baby shower. All regarding to my little sweet note. She simply just stated how that note was very RUDE & she felt about our friendship & how she doesn’t have anything in common with me & how she doesn’t really care about me. She asked if I new what all she was going through, & all the things that is happening with her & how I think my life is so “perfect” & full of roses, etc. blah, blah, blah….
After receiving it, I deleted her from FB. I ignored her emails & felt I did the right thing. If I was to email her back it would have gone on & on & on until she got her last word in & until she completely hurt me with her sassy words. Once she saw I deleted her, she had the nerve to write about me on her FB status about how: Kimberly Bolen Lawhon is so pathetic & ruined her baby shower by writing a note (she put a little part of my note that I gave her in her status, that wasn’t even the whole thing that I wrote.) & she called me a B*#ch for ignoring her & not stepping up to her. She completely embarrassed me. Their were tones of comments made about me & how I was wrong etc. When these people have NO CLUE what happened & it should have stayed between me & her. But because she’s the person she is & I guess because I ignored her she had to talk about it with all her crappy friends.
I’m sorry I’m a bigger & better, more mature person than you are & that you can’t see how completely childish immature you are!!!
After the lovely words that were said about me, I deleted a lot of other people that were friends of here’s and mine & blocked her completely. Of course she had to email me one last time saying she never wants to see my face EVER again, & to never call her, email, etc. I never once got a thank you for hosting her baby shower nor did my M-I-L. Now how selfish & immature is that!!!
As I said at the beginning of this LONG post It took me a week or two to get over all this & let me just say it wasn’t easy. I looked at Christina as a sister to me but now I look at her as a immature self centered person who will never get by in life with the attitude & mouth she has & the person she is! My heart cries out to her baby boy & theirs nothing else for me to do but pray for her & that baby! I’ve tried & done my part in this friendship that we had but can only do so much before It’s time to let go, besides I have my family to worry about not what friends I did & do have. I’ve let her talk about me & my family for far too long & I know that God had this all planned out to end the way it did. It hurts so deeply & breaks my heart for these past 12 year’s of friendship to finally come to an end but now I know that I don’t have to worry about if she has a problem with me or etc. I don’t have to worry about if I make her happy or am I a good friend. I’m done & I Thank God for that !!!
[what really brought me to write about this today is, she had her baby boy today. Mason Wayne Jaworski, 9 lbs 8 oz. (4 lbs less than Hunter) I saw this on another friends FB page & thought I’d get her cell # from my brother & text her congratulations (even though I probable shouldn’t have) I wasn’t really expecting a text back, well I’d rather not have had a text back to say the least but she said “please don’t text me”. So I was a little upset about it this morning. Kind of breaks my heart to know that she just gave birth to a beautiful miracle baby boy & I couldn’t be their & she wont except a congratulations. But I guess it’s obvious I’d get a respond like that considering we don’t talk. Oh well, as long as God knows I do still love her. =)]
My family & what little friends I do have, have supported me through all this & I cannot thank them enough. I’m a changed person from what I used to be & I’m proud to say that I have moved on in my life whether you or anyone else can’t except change!
When I think about all this I read these chapters of the bible to keep me strong ♥
"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Mathew 5:11-12
“Love your enemies[i] and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous & the unrighteous”. Mathew 5:44-45
Hope this wasn’t too terribly boring & long. Thank you all for the lovely support.
You are all my sister’s through Christ & I love my blogging friends.
Feel free to tell if you or someone you know have been through the same situation.
Please pray that I can overcome all of this & not worry so much about it & to help me move on.
Well today I am here to finally talk about it. I want to get this off my chest & hope that ya’ll will read this LONG post & give me some good advise. (even though I’m over this all I still wanted to write about it so someone can see my point of view)
I’m not writing this post to really explain in detail what happened but lets just say that she lost a VERY good friend who really truly loved her & cared deeply about.
It’s been a little over a month since we’ve spoken to one another. I have to say it was very difficult to get over at first but as I continued my days praising God & listening to my heart It got better.
The details: Ever since back in November when Christina called me from the Army saying she was pregnant & I was the first to ever find out, I was overwhelmed with excitement! From that moment on I thought she was back in my life to be a good friend & we could talk about all baby stuff etc…
A few months went by and during those months we were talking more than we had before she got pregnant, because lets face it, I had already been in her shoes & I wanted to here all about it. Who doesn’t want to help a friend out that is pregnant for the 1st time, ya know.
She came home from the army In February. We hung out a few times , & talked almost every other day (just like old times). She talked about how she was over immature people & she was so ready to start a new beginning etc.
Well that was a lie. I thought she had changed from her old ways & thought the Army made her a better person, NOT!
Being the good friend that I am, I volunteered to host her baby shower for her in June & I couldn’t wait to get started. Over the past two months before her shower she really kind of lost contact with me. I thought maybe it was due to her being all hormonal and such, but that sure wasn’t the case. She stopped talking to me, she wouldn’t text me when I text her & if she did, it was really short & to the point. I made so many comments on FB to her about how excited I was for Mason (her baby) to get here, made tones of sweet comments to her but I noticed she never responded back to any of my comments, but would do so for other people. I thought that was Strange.
When I needed advice for her baby shower, she would say talk to her Sis-n-law.
I finally got the hint before her Baby shower that she had nothing to really do with me & my life anymore & that she had been talking trash about me this whole entire time on FB & being the dumb person I am thought she was talking about someone else. :(
Let’s face it, me & her have two different life styles; mine’s more “perfect as she said it” family oriented, I have a husband & son & I’m a Christian & really don’t have a lot in common with my once bestfriend.
She married a guy right before going into the army, then decided she wanted a divorce, so she’s “single” (going through a divorce), doesn’t know whether the father believes that’s his baby & doesn’t have any concern with her, has no home but her mom & dad’s to go home to, and says & does what she pleases & can’t know body stop her.
Yes I have completely changed from the person I once was & I’m so so thankful for that!!! She doesn’t want to change. Being said that, we’re two completly opposite people from the friends we once were.
I was wrote this about our friendship:
But I still can’t understand why she felt the need to have talked about me this whole entire time while planning out her baby shower. My opinion is she was all alone, & felt like because my life was going great she is jealous but DOES NOT & WILL NOT ever admit to it.
I never once talked about her, or said anything out of the way. All I’ve ever wanted is for her to see that I am a true real friend to her & truly care & love her so much.
It’s obvious she took my friendship for granted & has used me as a side kick over the past 12 years & now I FINALLY see that out of all these years. My husband had to point out to me that she was no good for me & she was a bad example to follow & that’s all I’ve ever done is followed what Christina did!
I’m the type of person who will agree or do what others think, the “follower”. I’m the type of person who loves & cares so much about certain people. I’m the type of person who can’t get over something that has gone horribly wrong between me & someone else. I’m the type of person who wont let anything go until my heart is filled with a smile. I’m the type of person who doesn’t like to cause drama or make anyone hate or talk about me. I’m the type of person who will give up everything & anything to make things better. I’m the type of person who will get along with just about everyone.
I’m the person ~girl~ friend that everyone should have and hold onto. ♥
I ended up going to her baby shower (even though I had 2nd doubts about going) along with my wonderful Mother-n-law who helped me out so much. When we arrived I felt a awkwardness coming from Christina but didn’t let it get to me. I talked to everyone & did my part at the shower. And said my goodbyes. Oh and did I mention I didn’t get a Thank you from her or really a hug! Ah what good friends get for hosting your besties baby shower. Ugh.
Okay I am going to go into detail. Lol
I stuck a sweet 4 sentence letter into her card that I got her for her baby shower gift stating something like this:
Dear Christina,
I am so happy for you and what God has blessed you with. I pray that everything will work out for you & Mason & wish you the best through out life. I don’t understand why you can’t except the changes I’ve made in my life & hope you realize that I’ve been here all along as a true friend. I love you & will be praying for you .
Love, Kim
I maybe should have stuck that note & wrote it into her card instead of a side note because she wasn’t to pleased at what I wrote. She really took it as in insult. Maybe I should have just talked to her in person about this face to face but I didn’t and wonder if it really would have made any difference.
I received three emails on Facebook from her while me & my husband was at a concert that night after her baby shower. All regarding to my little sweet note. She simply just stated how that note was very RUDE & she felt about our friendship & how she doesn’t have anything in common with me & how she doesn’t really care about me. She asked if I new what all she was going through, & all the things that is happening with her & how I think my life is so “perfect” & full of roses, etc. blah, blah, blah….
After receiving it, I deleted her from FB. I ignored her emails & felt I did the right thing. If I was to email her back it would have gone on & on & on until she got her last word in & until she completely hurt me with her sassy words. Once she saw I deleted her, she had the nerve to write about me on her FB status about how: Kimberly Bolen Lawhon is so pathetic & ruined her baby shower by writing a note (she put a little part of my note that I gave her in her status, that wasn’t even the whole thing that I wrote.) & she called me a B*#ch for ignoring her & not stepping up to her. She completely embarrassed me. Their were tones of comments made about me & how I was wrong etc. When these people have NO CLUE what happened & it should have stayed between me & her. But because she’s the person she is & I guess because I ignored her she had to talk about it with all her crappy friends.
I’m sorry I’m a bigger & better, more mature person than you are & that you can’t see how completely childish immature you are!!!
After the lovely words that were said about me, I deleted a lot of other people that were friends of here’s and mine & blocked her completely. Of course she had to email me one last time saying she never wants to see my face EVER again, & to never call her, email, etc. I never once got a thank you for hosting her baby shower nor did my M-I-L. Now how selfish & immature is that!!!
As I said at the beginning of this LONG post It took me a week or two to get over all this & let me just say it wasn’t easy. I looked at Christina as a sister to me but now I look at her as a immature self centered person who will never get by in life with the attitude & mouth she has & the person she is! My heart cries out to her baby boy & theirs nothing else for me to do but pray for her & that baby! I’ve tried & done my part in this friendship that we had but can only do so much before It’s time to let go, besides I have my family to worry about not what friends I did & do have. I’ve let her talk about me & my family for far too long & I know that God had this all planned out to end the way it did. It hurts so deeply & breaks my heart for these past 12 year’s of friendship to finally come to an end but now I know that I don’t have to worry about if she has a problem with me or etc. I don’t have to worry about if I make her happy or am I a good friend. I’m done & I Thank God for that !!!
[what really brought me to write about this today is, she had her baby boy today. Mason Wayne Jaworski, 9 lbs 8 oz. (4 lbs less than Hunter) I saw this on another friends FB page & thought I’d get her cell # from my brother & text her congratulations (even though I probable shouldn’t have) I wasn’t really expecting a text back, well I’d rather not have had a text back to say the least but she said “please don’t text me”. So I was a little upset about it this morning. Kind of breaks my heart to know that she just gave birth to a beautiful miracle baby boy & I couldn’t be their & she wont except a congratulations. But I guess it’s obvious I’d get a respond like that considering we don’t talk. Oh well, as long as God knows I do still love her. =)]
My family & what little friends I do have, have supported me through all this & I cannot thank them enough. I’m a changed person from what I used to be & I’m proud to say that I have moved on in my life whether you or anyone else can’t except change!
When I think about all this I read these chapters of the bible to keep me strong ♥
"Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. Mathew 5:11-12
“Love your enemies[i] and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous & the unrighteous”. Mathew 5:44-45
Hope this wasn’t too terribly boring & long. Thank you all for the lovely support.
You are all my sister’s through Christ & I love my blogging friends.
Feel free to tell if you or someone you know have been through the same situation.
Please pray that I can overcome all of this & not worry so much about it & to help me move on.
6 sweet friend had something to say:
goodness! that's terrible. i'm so sorry you've had to go through this! i've kinda have endured a similar situation with a childhood best friend also and it's heart braking! i'll be praying for you! God has his hand in all of this!
Kim, I know how hard this is for you to be going through. I remember all that you went through whenever you and Christina became friends once again. If you remember me telling you months ago, I did have a friend like this. Not quite as immature as all of this seems but I had a bad best friend that laughed at my whenever I told her I was pregnant and turned her back on me multiple times before and after that.
The best advice that I can give you is to walk away and not look back. It hurts and will always stink that you do not have that once "best friend" around anymore but it doesn't seem that Christina or my friend Dana will ever change. If you see her out somewhere I would smile and not even give her the time of day what-so-ever. This girl has a lot of growing up to do, and if she ever plans on doing it will be her decision.
Do not feel bad for someone else stupidity and how selfish they are. I felt bad for years and blamed myself for maybe being a bad friend, and letting her come back in my life time after time. But it's not worth it, they're just like a bad boyfriend, the worse they are the more they drag you down.
Okay, I'll stop rambling now. Just smile darlin and go on. There are wayy better friends out there. Trust me!
I know exactly what you're going through. In the past 2 years, I have lost almost 3 best friends. One got married without telling me, one (who I've been friends with since preschool) never has time to hang out with me or calls, and the other we have just started being friends again.
I don't think you are wrong AT ALL! She'll realize she lost a great friend.
Christina obviously needs much prayer. Your friendship is her loss. And remember...Friends will come and go but family is forever.
Girl, that friendship sounds toxic and probably the best thing you could have done and did do it let it go.
Hold on to those scriptures, and I just sent somebody that first scripture you posted that was going thru something similar in a friendship! Have hope in the truth of his word and stay encouraged and surround yourself with people that build you up and bring fruit to your life!!
Stay far away from her. I know it is heartbreaking to lose a friend that you were so close with for all of those years but she sounds like she is just a toxic person. She seems to be extremely immature and sounds like she has a lot of growing up to do. You don't need those people in your life, they will just bring you down. HUGS!
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