Let me start off by saying How GOOD our God is!!
**this is going to get deep y'all**
Today I'm posting about some things that's been laid upon my heart. I feel like I don't ever really blog about myself, even though this blog is really for my baby boy, I feel the need for it to be about anything and everyone.
These past few days my heart has been really heavy, longing for more of God's love, and to really dig deep into his words.
Just knowing that I could have lost a dear love one last weekend, my brother Jamie; lead me to open up my eyes and realize how precious & short life can be.
I've been focusing more on who God wants me to be; a Christian leader of my house hold, a loving wife he intended me to be, a good Mommy to my precious son, a loving daughter, sister, Aunt, and most importantly a child of God!
I feel like (you'll be hearing me say that phrase a lot) God's been calling my heart to do these things so that I can be a good leader for my loved ones. Lately I've been so stressed, I worry about so many things in life, feel like I've got the top of the World all on my shoulders, been doubting that things wont get better, we'll never move out of this house, putting myself down. Then I realize I know I'm not the only one who deals with this.
I've just purchased the book; A Confident Heart by Renee Swope and It's been helping me get my life back in order. It's lead me to see that life will get better, change will happen, all these things will help me to have a confident heart through Jesus Christ. Just knowing that I can do all things through him who gives me strength Philippians 4:13 is such a wonderful comfort!
Jeremiah 29:11-12
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. <<<--- that hit home in so many ways and It's very true!
God knows my heart, he knows what I'm capable of doing. I sit here and write this out because I'm so thrilled to have God in my heart more than I've ever had before.
I sometimes feel like the hypocrite christian, you know the one who goes to church, attends Sunday School, but go out in the real world and sin, do things I know I shouldn't do but do them anyways. And then I wonder why all those snobbing christian girls at school look at me differently, I feel like I'm not good enough for them and there church... This relates back to my Confidants!..
I will gladly admit that I have sinned in all these things and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Being a Christian is HARD! Satan tries his best to put us down, the more your heart is closer to God the more Satan tries to rip you apart and in your head you constantly say "I'm not good enough". Ahh.. yes It's true, these things are all true. But I know God loves us, we are by far from perfect and he knows what we can handle.
This past week I sold some concert tickets, ZBB tickets. Figured I'd rather make money off of them than attend the concert being that it was held on a busy weekend for us. I wrote my Momma a letter. It's been a good while since I've actually "written" her a letter due to new technology and all. I poured my heart into that letter, told her how I've felt lately, how God had really taken over my life, how I miss her more than anything and sent her some money I made from selling the tickets. She didn't ask for it, and It wasn't much, but I felt like God was whispering to my ear "Kim, you need to help your Momma out". I know my momma has been SO good to all of us children over the past years, she'll do anything to help any of her family members out here at home. She comes home once a year to visit, and during those little 2 weeks that she's home, she's stressed to the MAX because everyone wants to see & visit Sylvia. She's a popular woman around here. Ha. Everyone knows Momma has a HUGE heart and she's the most sweetest, loving Mother you'd ever meet. Whenever we're on the phone she's always talking about how she doesn't know if she'll make it home this month, or the next because money's tight, so I figured I'd send her a surprise blessing in the mail.
I can't wait for her to get it because she has no Idea I sent her any piece of mail. So she text me today, sent me a FWD text that she sent to her brother asking if he'd pay her back at least $50 that she loaned him a few months ago and she stated she was broke this week and only had a couple of bucks and she was struggling. She sent me that text to see if it didn't look like a mean text she was sending her brother. When I received it, all I could do was cry... My heart was touched to know that even though I didn't know she was needing money, God made a way for me to send her that little extra money to help her out. God new what he was saying to me. You see God knows what our minds read, he knows our struggles and so by this it goes to show how WONDERFUL OUR GOD IS!!! He is capable of providing for us and loving us if we just except him into our hearts and love him unconditional!!
Like I said, I know that I'm not perfect, there are going to be days where I feel like giving up, days where I'm tired, stressed out, but I know that if I just call upon the Lord, he'll make away to calm the storm!
~~~
Well I can't leave this post without my son being involved. Hunter says some silly things, he's always jabbering at the mouth about hunting, his sister (not his brother anymore), and What time is it Momm(a)y (he says Momma now instead of Mommy so sad). He is always wanting to know what time we doing this, how long will that be, etc.. It just cracks me up to hear my little tootabugs talk!
Y'all have a Blessed weekend!!! I know I'm going to try to!
Pray for me!!
