Not Good Enough

Have you ever felt like you weren't good enough?

Felt left out because you weren't smart enough?
Pretty enough?
Popular enough?
Interesting enough?

Rich enough?

Everyone see's your mistakes but never compliments you on the good?
Your the follower and not the leader.

I'm that person today!

My whole life all I've wanted to be was that person someone would love to look
up to. Someone that didn't have to worry if that other person was talking about
them. Someone who's calling out "I'm right here do you see me." Someone who can get along with everyone.

I'm tired of feeling ignored. I feel like I do so much for so many others that I
get nothing back. I'm like a bump in the road.

I watch so many other people have all these wonderful friendships and wonder why
can't I be popular and have friends like that.

I just feel like crying right now and I really don't know why.
I have no reason to be feeling this way because I know that I'm loved by many
but sometimes I don't hear it or see it enough.

Your probably shocked to see this coming from me right?

I know what I need to do. I need to stop worrying about what so many other
people are doing, and what they think of me and focus on myself and family.
Get down on my knees and pray. Ya'll my heart has drifted away from having a
personal relationship with the Lord. I pray but have no meaning behind it it
seems like. I don't read my bible nearly as much as I should. I've drifted
farther away from my church friends who I know will pick me back up. I need
forgiveness, maybe redemption. I read so many other encouraging blogs and want to
have that relationship with Christ like they do but I never try hard enough. I
said this year I wanted to have a stronger walk with God and I've failed so
far...
And to be honest I've felt like I've lost a lot of my blogging friends and don't
know why. I know I write everyday for my son and son alone but sometimes I like
to know other mommy's are reading. I know we all get busy and find it hard to
write a comment a time or two but It makes me feel good to know I have readers.
I know ya'll are probably thinking I am some physco chick. But this is truly how
I feel.

I guess I get a little too desperate for love and friendship that I go overboard
sometimes. It's in my blood though and I feel like there's no changing that.

My heart is in desperate need of a change!
I hope by me writing this didn't make me be a physco crazy blogger.. I just
needed to relieve some stress that were placed on my heart and felt like my blog
was the best place to do so.

If you read this, please say a prayer for me, I'd appreciate it. ♥