Pretty enough?
Popular enough?
Interesting enough?
Your the follower and not the leader.
I'm that person today!
My whole life all I've wanted to be was that person someone would love to look
up to. Someone that didn't have to worry if that other person was talking about
them. Someone who's calling out "I'm right here do you see me." Someone who can get along with everyone.
I'm tired of feeling ignored. I feel like I do so much for so many others that I
get nothing back. I'm like a bump in the road.
I watch so many other people have all these wonderful friendships and wonder why
can't I be popular and have friends like that.
I just feel like crying right now and I really don't know why.
I have no reason to be feeling this way because I know that I'm loved by many
but sometimes I don't hear it or see it enough.
Your probably shocked to see this coming from me right?
I know what I need to do. I need to stop worrying about what so many other
people are doing, and what they think of me and focus on myself and family.
Get down on my knees and pray. Ya'll my heart has drifted away from having a
personal relationship with the Lord. I pray but have no meaning behind it it
seems like. I don't read my bible nearly as much as I should. I've drifted
farther away from my church friends who I know will pick me back up. I need
forgiveness, maybe redemption. I read so many other encouraging blogs and want to
have that relationship with Christ like they do but I never try hard enough. I
said this year I wanted to have a stronger walk with God and I've failed so
far...
And to be honest I've felt like I've lost a lot of my blogging friends and don't
know why. I know I write everyday for my son and son alone but sometimes I like
to know other mommy's are reading. I know we all get busy and find it hard to
write a comment a time or two but It makes me feel good to know I have readers.
I know ya'll are probably thinking I am some physco chick. But this is truly how
I feel.
I guess I get a little too desperate for love and friendship that I go overboard
sometimes. It's in my blood though and I feel like there's no changing that.
My heart is in desperate need of a change!
I hope by me writing this didn't make me be a physco crazy blogger.. I just
needed to relieve some stress that were placed on my heart and felt like my blog
was the best place to do so.
If you read this, please say a prayer for me, I'd appreciate it. ♥
6 sweet friend had something to say:
I totally know how it can feel to give & give (and necessarily materialistic things) & not get anything in return from friends. Just don't let it get you down. They will realize what they are missing in your friendship soon enough. Focus on the Lord & the important things in life. You are definitely good enough!!!
I totally know how you feel. i feel like the same way most days. After I had my son, I was diagnosed with Bell's Palsy a condition that paralyzes 1 side of your face. No smile, one eye can't blink, eating is a real chore. Most people recover within 6-12 weeks...I still have not fully recovered and probably never will...that has been a real blow to my self esteem.. I've learned to live with it and my baby boy tells me I'm pretty so that's all that matter to me. Keep your head up. YOU ARE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!
You are good enough...but I know how you feel. I feel the same way most days. We are too hard on ourselves and God loves us no matter what! Keep your head up girl!!
I know how the friendship/relationship with people thing is. I've absolutely poured myself into friendships before and then have been left wondering if the person even liked being my friend to begin with. I know that feeling. But my problem was because I was looking to another human being to be my source of joy, to confirm to me that I was doing it right. God doesn't want what we can do, girl. He wants us. For so long I was raised in a church that taught that the only way to please God was to do more and try harder but that is not what He wants. He wants our faith in His son. He wants us to understand that we can do nothing, nothing, nothing by or though our own means. I can try hard for years, and yet if my faith isn't properly placed in what Jesus did for me on the Cross, I will never overcome.
Check out jsm.org - there is a list of radio stations and cable channels that might be in your area. This is a ministry I highly respect, and one that teaches a Cross-centered lifestyle. I've learned so much in the past two years about what it means to have my faith properly rooted in Christ. It's not a system of do's or dont's. When we are where we need to be in Christ, a proper lifestyle will be the result of proper faith. Not the other way around. Hang in there, girl! Jesus paid it ALL!
I pray right now that you will feel his peace and see your self-worth. Because you are LOVED my friend!!!!
Oh honey! This post is sooo sad! You are loved! I wish we lived closer to each other so that we could get together! I hate that you feel that way!
You must know that there are people who think that you are MORE than good enough, MORE than pretty enough, MORE than smart enough, and so on! Especially that little boy of yours. I know he just adores you! And to God you are number one, we all are to him! I pray that you lean on him not only when you feel like this but at all times. I pray that you are able to build your confidence and self-worth through him. HUGS SWEETIE!
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